Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Out of the Circle

I was sitting beside my bed last night, reading a book about Force, Electricity, Magnet, and some other shits (God knows it's a physics book). The computer in front of me was playing about 6000 songs randomly. Then all of the sudden I was like.. "am I gonna be always with the same 2 digits--0 and 1--until the rest of my life?" Can there be some other digits that can make this life at least less boring? My computer seemed to hear my question, then a song that i just got from an internet cafe earlier that day was played, chosen by the randomizer code embedded in my music player software. It was "Unpad" by "The Panas Dalam".

"Mahasiswa kedokteran... UNPAD!!!! UNPAD!!!! UNPAD!!!! UNPAD!!!",  The Panas Dalam - Unpad

Don't you think it will be so much more fun to take care of sick people than typing qwertyuiop on a blank screen again and again?

Again, my mind stance's shaken up so easily.

But then it's my future, not anyone else's. I decide, not anyone else.

Maybe i must do an Istikhoroh Prayer. But to whom should I pray if I haven't got anyOne to be prayed to? ahh... it seems that i have to decide this by myself, and a bit help from my family of course, they're much better than The Unseen, i think.

If I got this, it means I have to move to East Bandung, separated from my family, which I have always wanted for long. Not that I hate them, I am just bored of being part of the circle. I want to move out.


Speaking of circle, once again Im trapped in some kind of circle. A circle that's been beaten by me once, but comes back with its new strength. I like running inside this circle as much as I hate it. It's like watching a beautiful multicolored fire while holding it with both hands. I don't wanna run out of this circle self handedly like i did last year coz I now realize it was so stupid and selfish. But then this circle always makes me stupid and out of control.

"This firrreeee is out of control, Im gonna burn this city... burn this city...", Franz Ferdinand - This Fire

Man.. this sucks-_- The last time I was being so logical, I became an arrogant bastard. But when I cease my logic, I can't help but started to cry for some obscure reason. And by god, I felt like a perfect pussy. Can somebody tell me how to be JUST right?

Meooowwww,,,,,,,,,,, i feel like having a miniature of bipolar disorder....


"i like you im not gonna crack. i miss you im not gonna crack. i love you im not gonna crack. i kill you im not gonna crack.", Nirvana - Lithium

Kembali ke SPMB.

No comments:

Post a Comment