Touch The Bottom

Last post at May 9th? Shit. What happened? I'm not really sure about the detail (and I'm not gonna tell you, pervert.), but a lot of things had happened, that's for sure.

Remember Kika, the girl I went with to Reading Light on my last post? Well, we [how do you say jadian in English?]. Hmm. If I was still a little boy (for me, that means when I was 18 y.o, or less), I would write a long post on how awesome she is. But fortunately I'm 22 years old now and I've learned a lot of things about not being a cheesy alay, so.. let's just cut to the chase and say she's soooo lovely.

She's a walking paradox. A self-proclaimed anti-social who loves to tell stories by...(surprise!)...talking. A skinny girl who loves to eat. A stylish person who doesn't like to go to the mall. An open-minded girl who do charity works for her church every single week. An old-fashioned girl who likes to rock and roll. And a kindergarten teacher who sometimes smoke and drink.

Oh, wait, this post wasn't supposed to be about my girl. Ahh.. my bad. Always wandering around. *checking the title of this post* wait, Touch The Bottom? What?

Oh.. the bottom, I remember now. It's about how I haven't done any shit for about three weeks. Seriously. I haven't read a single text book page (or, in my campus' case, Powerpoint Slides), I've only done a tiny bit of my homework (with the speed of a turtle whose feet had just crushed by a truck), and a few paragraphs of translating for the campus website.

And the cause of all that? There's no real cause. I'm always in this kind of state every time the final exams come. Well, I could blame it to my campus who squeezes all the hard assignments into the end of the semester. I could blame it to our educational system who has successfully created a notion in youth minds that school education is everything. I could blame it to the government who isn't trying to stop that. But in the end, I should just blame it all to myself for having a tremendous ego that makes me unwilling to to anything that I don't like/agree/give a shit.

So here I go again, fucked up to the bone.

But no matter what, I'm a diehard optimist. I never give up things (maybe sometimes I just let things go because I know there are better ones out there). The thing is, sometimes I can't control my mood. I can't control my spirit. Fortunately, in the past 12 months, I learned how to get along with it. So in the last three weeks, instead of trying hopelessly to kill this laziness, I just let myself do a free fall into the pit of sloth, and finally this morning, I hit the bottom.

And you know what I do after I hit the bottom?

I jump.